This is an extremely overdue post and I have been wanting to put this down in writing since a few weeks ago because it is one topic that I hope Matty and Elaina will learn in due course. This will serve as a reminder to me in years to come.
The interest in this rather morbid subject sparked firstly because of a handful of young elitists committing suicide in a short span of 2 weeks just recently and over issues which truly in my view are not serious enough that one need to end his life for. Secondly, a friend of mine was telling me how her 8 year old son (who is above average in terms of his academic result) was taking it very badly about not doing well in one of his subject and had this huge worry that he won't be able to maintain the third position in his class this year again.
It sounds a little odd to say this, but I think one of the important lessons to be learnt amongst the many others is about failure. A child can be equipped with the highest IQ and EQ, attend reputable schools with the best schooling system, enrolled in enrichment classes from phonics to arts to music but once he or she lacks the life-skill of keeping afloat when caught in a less palatable situation (which almost always will happen in life just a matter of when!), he or she may react in an extremely negative manner.
Like all parents, I hope that my children will do well in school and generally in life but I want them to also know how best to deal with hiccups that will come along the way, how to pick themselves up and move on, be creative when it comes to formulating ways in getting themselves out of a rut and not resort to taking their own lives (touch wood!). What best way other than learning from experience?
They should have sufficient successes in their early life to help build their confidence but every now and then it ought to be dotted with little little failures to make them understand that life can never run as smoothly as they want it to be and things don't always turned out as planned or hoped for. Better to have failures come in tiny packages than in one big blow later in life.
There should be occasions when they emerge the winner to appreciate that they have the potential to be the best and hard work pays off, but there should also be times when they don't in order for them to understand that they cannot be the best in everything and there is someone out there who will beat them to it... and that it is ok as long as they know they have tried.
They need to know that they are right in what they do so as to boost their morale and lift their spirits but they cannot be right all the time and when things go wrong, they should not go around pointing fingers and pining the entire fault on others. Look within oneself and decide how to deal with ugly situations.
Failing to fail is extremely detrimental in a child's growth. So.. no, I don't want my children to live a charmed life and cruise along. They need to trip and fall so that they can learn to avoid the bigger pot-holes when they walk further down the road.
The interest in this rather morbid subject sparked firstly because of a handful of young elitists committing suicide in a short span of 2 weeks just recently and over issues which truly in my view are not serious enough that one need to end his life for. Secondly, a friend of mine was telling me how her 8 year old son (who is above average in terms of his academic result) was taking it very badly about not doing well in one of his subject and had this huge worry that he won't be able to maintain the third position in his class this year again.
It sounds a little odd to say this, but I think one of the important lessons to be learnt amongst the many others is about failure. A child can be equipped with the highest IQ and EQ, attend reputable schools with the best schooling system, enrolled in enrichment classes from phonics to arts to music but once he or she lacks the life-skill of keeping afloat when caught in a less palatable situation (which almost always will happen in life just a matter of when!), he or she may react in an extremely negative manner.
Like all parents, I hope that my children will do well in school and generally in life but I want them to also know how best to deal with hiccups that will come along the way, how to pick themselves up and move on, be creative when it comes to formulating ways in getting themselves out of a rut and not resort to taking their own lives (touch wood!). What best way other than learning from experience?
They should have sufficient successes in their early life to help build their confidence but every now and then it ought to be dotted with little little failures to make them understand that life can never run as smoothly as they want it to be and things don't always turned out as planned or hoped for. Better to have failures come in tiny packages than in one big blow later in life.
There should be occasions when they emerge the winner to appreciate that they have the potential to be the best and hard work pays off, but there should also be times when they don't in order for them to understand that they cannot be the best in everything and there is someone out there who will beat them to it... and that it is ok as long as they know they have tried.
They need to know that they are right in what they do so as to boost their morale and lift their spirits but they cannot be right all the time and when things go wrong, they should not go around pointing fingers and pining the entire fault on others. Look within oneself and decide how to deal with ugly situations.
Failing to fail is extremely detrimental in a child's growth. So.. no, I don't want my children to live a charmed life and cruise along. They need to trip and fall so that they can learn to avoid the bigger pot-holes when they walk further down the road.
