Today is another road trip for Daddy & Mummy. We had intended to go to Freycinet National Park & Uncle Paul's Beachhouse, but because of a road race, they will be closing the road inbetween for most of the day. So instead, we drove south again to the Huon Valley where the great big forests were. It's a production forest, which means logging is being carried out. The trees are chopped down for all sorts of uses, like furniture, & shipbuilding. To prevent deforestation, the company is also careful to regrow the forests. The area we went to is called the Tahune National Park where there is an attraction called the Airwalk. It's a path built into the forest at 37m high & it gives a really good view of the area, the forests, mountains & the Huon River. It was a lovely, peaceful and scenic tour.
On the way back to Hobart, Daddy & Mummy stopped at a small town called Franklin. We had some fun chasing seagulls by the beach before stopping for some tea (for Mummy) & coffee (for Daddy) & ice cream. The cafe is called Petty Sessions, as the building used to be the Franklin Courthouse. A lovely place to spend the afternoon...
This evening is going to be quiet as Daddy & Mummy will have an early night... Tomorrow, we should be heading out to Uncle Paul's Beachhouse as well as Freycinet National Park.
Thursday 29 April 2004
Wednesday 28 April 2004
Diary of a Possum Murderer
Yesterday, Daddy & Mummy went on a bit of a road trip to Port Arthur about 1.5 hours drive away. On the way, we got some good scenary & plenty of photos. We spent most of the day at Port Arthur, where a convict colony used to be. It was quite a amazing place, to feel the history about the place. Many also say that it is haunted. Daddy & Mummy joined a 'Ghost Tour' that night where a tour guide took us around the place & told us ghost stories. Well, we didn't see any ghosts, but there was a room which is supposed to be haunted which gave Mummy the creeps. She stepped in, & immediately wanted to leave... The drive back was uneventful except for the poor possum that Daddy ran over accidentally. But then, Daddy managed to stop in time to avoid running over a second one....
Today we went to a place which you guys probably would have enjoyed. The Cadbury Chocolate Factory, where they make all the yummy chocolates. Mummy is not a huge fan, but she still really enjoyed the Macadamia Nut chocolate which was given to us as samples. We bought lots of chocolates back, for friends to enjoy.
Tonight, Uncle Paul & Auntie Kerry are bringing us all out to a dinner at an Asian restaurant. So, should be a good dinner installed.
Today we went to a place which you guys probably would have enjoyed. The Cadbury Chocolate Factory, where they make all the yummy chocolates. Mummy is not a huge fan, but she still really enjoyed the Macadamia Nut chocolate which was given to us as samples. We bought lots of chocolates back, for friends to enjoy.
Tonight, Uncle Paul & Auntie Kerry are bringing us all out to a dinner at an Asian restaurant. So, should be a good dinner installed.
Monday 26 April 2004
Mt Wellington, Richmond & Mt Nelson
Today, Daddy & Mummy met with a bit of luck as the weather cleared dramatically and we were able to make the trip up Mt Wellington. This is something even Daddy has not managed to do... The highest I have gone was up to the Springs at 720m above sea level when Granddaddy & Grandmummy came to visit... However today, we managed to get all the way to the summit. The view was incredible and at the top, with the low clouds, it was truly one with the clouds. We snapped lots of pictures! It was incredible!
After a lunch at Mures of Fish & Chips for Mummy & Crumbed Scallops for Daddy, we wandered around town & shared an ice cream. With some time, we made the trip to Richmond, the site of an old bridge as well as the oldest Catholic Church in Australia which is still ministering...
On the way back, we stopped at the Botanic Gardens which was a bit dissappointing... Think ours in Singapore would be better. But it's probably because of the winter... After a bit of a detour, we got to the Mt Nelson Signal Station lookout for a breathtaking view of Hobart in sunset... :)
Well, Auntie Kerry just got home so Daddy & Mummy are going to go see if she needs a hand with anything... Talk to you later... Muacks muacks
After a lunch at Mures of Fish & Chips for Mummy & Crumbed Scallops for Daddy, we wandered around town & shared an ice cream. With some time, we made the trip to Richmond, the site of an old bridge as well as the oldest Catholic Church in Australia which is still ministering...
On the way back, we stopped at the Botanic Gardens which was a bit dissappointing... Think ours in Singapore would be better. But it's probably because of the winter... After a bit of a detour, we got to the Mt Nelson Signal Station lookout for a breathtaking view of Hobart in sunset... :)
Well, Auntie Kerry just got home so Daddy & Mummy are going to go see if she needs a hand with anything... Talk to you later... Muacks muacks
Sunday 25 April 2004
We Are Here Finally!!!
Dear guys,
Mummy & Daddy are now in Hobart, where Daddy spent 7 years of his life studying... Yesterday, brought Mummy to Salamanca Market, which is like the Tasmanian Pasar Malam... We had this yummy sausage for lunch & also did some souvenir shopping... We also went shoe shopping because Mummy's shoes were spoilt... :( Mummy has teeny tiny feet and the first 3 shops didn't have anything in her size (except for one huge pair of boots)... In the end, we went to this department store where they had one pair of boots in Mummy's size and just what she wanted... Mummy was certainly glad with that find...
After that, Daddy took Mummy on a tour of all the places that he stayed in & we went to Nutgrove Beach as well... It was certainly a different experience, since this beach was by the riverside, not the sea... Strictly, it's a riverbank, but the Derwent River here is huge... Makes our Singapore River look like the long kang that Mummy likes to refer it to...
Today, we are going to make our way south, to Peppermint Bay for lunch and some sightseeing...
Guess these will not really be your cup of tea, MovieWorld on the Gold Coast would probably have been more exciting... But we will save that trip till we go with your brothers & sisters...
Take care, be good... :)
Mummy & Daddy are now in Hobart, where Daddy spent 7 years of his life studying... Yesterday, brought Mummy to Salamanca Market, which is like the Tasmanian Pasar Malam... We had this yummy sausage for lunch & also did some souvenir shopping... We also went shoe shopping because Mummy's shoes were spoilt... :( Mummy has teeny tiny feet and the first 3 shops didn't have anything in her size (except for one huge pair of boots)... In the end, we went to this department store where they had one pair of boots in Mummy's size and just what she wanted... Mummy was certainly glad with that find...
After that, Daddy took Mummy on a tour of all the places that he stayed in & we went to Nutgrove Beach as well... It was certainly a different experience, since this beach was by the riverside, not the sea... Strictly, it's a riverbank, but the Derwent River here is huge... Makes our Singapore River look like the long kang that Mummy likes to refer it to...
Today, we are going to make our way south, to Peppermint Bay for lunch and some sightseeing...
Guess these will not really be your cup of tea, MovieWorld on the Gold Coast would probably have been more exciting... But we will save that trip till we go with your brothers & sisters...
Take care, be good... :)
Tuesday 20 April 2004
Aftermath
Mummy went back to the gynae for a follow-up this morning. Everything is ok except that there was still a bit of tissue left over or blood clot but it is not too much of a concern. May get bits of bleeding over the next 7 to 10 days but that's normal as according to the gynae. Almost teared this morning when I had the ultrasound scan done... the empty feeling set in again because all I could see was an empty uterus.
Over the past few days... friends and even Dr. Lim shared with us their personal experiences... we then realised that actually quite a handful of them had gone through miscarriages as well. I guess that not many people like to share such experiences unless necessary. It is indeed painful... it is a lost of life... more so when it your own baby.
After much trouble, changes after changes and hard work (on Daddy's part)... our travel plans have been firmed up. Finally going for the long awaited trip this coming Thursday. This was suppose to be our honeymoon... but now it is part of the healing process.
Tomorrow will be exactly one week... but I think we have done well.
Over the past few days... friends and even Dr. Lim shared with us their personal experiences... we then realised that actually quite a handful of them had gone through miscarriages as well. I guess that not many people like to share such experiences unless necessary. It is indeed painful... it is a lost of life... more so when it your own baby.
After much trouble, changes after changes and hard work (on Daddy's part)... our travel plans have been firmed up. Finally going for the long awaited trip this coming Thursday. This was suppose to be our honeymoon... but now it is part of the healing process.
Tomorrow will be exactly one week... but I think we have done well.
Monday 19 April 2004
Restoring Normalcy into Life
Today is Daddy's attempt at restoring normalcy into life; back to work...
However, while everything is the same as I left it, everything is different now. It was so difficult to take down your pictures, I had so wanted to add in the more... Now, the pictures will remain in Daddy & Mummy's hearts... While I wish I had the chance to hold your tiny bodies in my hands, that is no longer possible. Now, I could only hold your tiny spirits in my heart & in Mummy's heart...
But coming back to work makes me realise that life does go on, no matter how much we want it to stop. We grieve for you, but as I told Mummy, I am also determined to celebrate your 8 weeks of life. When I see the two of you in the afterlife, I want to be able to tell you that Daddy & Mummy had done well in life, not in terms of material possessions, or career, but in what's important, our family...
For now, we concentrate on the physical & emotional healing, which we can feel you helping us through... When the time is right, we will try again, to bring your brothers and sisters into this world. But till then, we will take things one step at a time...
Rest well, my boys... Be good... I love you...
However, while everything is the same as I left it, everything is different now. It was so difficult to take down your pictures, I had so wanted to add in the more... Now, the pictures will remain in Daddy & Mummy's hearts... While I wish I had the chance to hold your tiny bodies in my hands, that is no longer possible. Now, I could only hold your tiny spirits in my heart & in Mummy's heart...
But coming back to work makes me realise that life does go on, no matter how much we want it to stop. We grieve for you, but as I told Mummy, I am also determined to celebrate your 8 weeks of life. When I see the two of you in the afterlife, I want to be able to tell you that Daddy & Mummy had done well in life, not in terms of material possessions, or career, but in what's important, our family...
For now, we concentrate on the physical & emotional healing, which we can feel you helping us through... When the time is right, we will try again, to bring your brothers and sisters into this world. But till then, we will take things one step at a time...
Rest well, my boys... Be good... I love you...
Sunday 18 April 2004
Keeping Myself Occupied
Pushed my plans a little and got down to doing some cleaning of the room today.
Have also decided that its time to groom myself a little... have been putting that off for quite a while because while carrying the two of you all I could think of was sleep through the weekend. So time to go straighten my hair tomorrow. I take it as another step to getting my life back to normal.
Mummy is definitely feeling a little bit better today... gotta give myself a pat on the back for that. But I was thinking earlier this morning wondering how my two angels would have looked like. Got me a bit sniffy though thinking about it. Hopefully it didn't get on daddy's nerves... bleah.
Have also decided that its time to groom myself a little... have been putting that off for quite a while because while carrying the two of you all I could think of was sleep through the weekend. So time to go straighten my hair tomorrow. I take it as another step to getting my life back to normal.
Mummy is definitely feeling a little bit better today... gotta give myself a pat on the back for that. But I was thinking earlier this morning wondering how my two angels would have looked like. Got me a bit sniffy though thinking about it. Hopefully it didn't get on daddy's nerves... bleah.
Saturday 17 April 2004
The Aimless Days...
Mummy has been grounded for the last few days. Daddy and I were suppose to re-visit Mt. Faber and have a picnic there yesterday... something which we haven't done for quite a while. But Daddy's granny has left strict instructions that I am suppose to stay in and get some rest. Oh well... for now we will be good.
But we had a great time spending 2 hours in bed in the morning reminiscing the happenings for the past one year. Its been a great year full of wonderful memories and we know that we will have many more to come. Well... life became a little aimless for me after the wedding... your arrival was something we were all looking forward to a "project" which will keep me occupied for the next 20 to 30 years... or maybe for the rest of my life. But its ok... for now I will concentrate on getting myself back to normal both physically and emotionally... we know that the next baby will be here soon.
Finding Nemo kept us occupied for a while yesterday. Its the second time we are watching it but never fails to tickle me. I'm sure you will love it too.
The report from the gynae came in today. Nothing conclusive...
But we are both feeling much better as each day passes by. Glad to say that we are all healing well. My tears should be running out soon.
The aimless life has made me lost count of the days. All I get to do is eat and rest, eat and rest. Giving myself another day to live my life like that. Come Monday I will have to start getting things done before flying off to Sydney for our long awaited trip.
But we had a great time spending 2 hours in bed in the morning reminiscing the happenings for the past one year. Its been a great year full of wonderful memories and we know that we will have many more to come. Well... life became a little aimless for me after the wedding... your arrival was something we were all looking forward to a "project" which will keep me occupied for the next 20 to 30 years... or maybe for the rest of my life. But its ok... for now I will concentrate on getting myself back to normal both physically and emotionally... we know that the next baby will be here soon.
Finding Nemo kept us occupied for a while yesterday. Its the second time we are watching it but never fails to tickle me. I'm sure you will love it too.
The report from the gynae came in today. Nothing conclusive...
But we are both feeling much better as each day passes by. Glad to say that we are all healing well. My tears should be running out soon.
The aimless life has made me lost count of the days. All I get to do is eat and rest, eat and rest. Giving myself another day to live my life like that. Come Monday I will have to start getting things done before flying off to Sydney for our long awaited trip.
Friday 16 April 2004
Dear Tristan & Kiefer
14 April 2004, 10 am…
“Sorry, I can’t seem to find the heartbeats.”
My heart sank and my world crashed …tears rolled down uncontrollably… I didn’t know what else I could do other than cry. That was when I knew that we had lost them both. There were no tell-tale signs… no bleeding, no spotting. All we could see on the monitor were the two little heads and their little arms and legs. Their hearts had stopped… so did ours.
They were identical… same hair, same facial features, same genes. Never expected them to share the same fate.
14 April 2004, 12.30 pm…
The wait for the D & C seemed like forever. But it was also the last few moments I could feel them inside me. The afternoon sun was shining brightly as ever… it pains me to know that they will never get to feel the warm of the sun, smell the roses and feel the light breeze brush their hair. The world will never be perfect but I’m sure they will find it beautiful despite the flaws.
I was told not to drink or eat before the surgery. I never knew how a patient waiting to be operated on could stand the thirst… because I could never live without water. But now I know… when the world stops… nothing else matters.
My tears couldn’t stop flowing.
14 April 2004, 1.30 pm…
We made our way back to the clinic for the surgery at 2.00 p.m.
The sun is still bright and scorching hot… but as we came closer to town the sky was partially covered with dark clouds. It felt as if the sky was feeling sorry for us.
14 April 2004, 2.00 pm…
Changed and waited outside the operating theatre for the gynae.
The tears just flowed endlessly. There was nothing I could do to make myself feel any better. It was the last private moments I had with my two angels.
14 April 2004, 2.15 pm…
“The first needle is painkiller and the second needle will put you to sleep… when you wake up it will be over.”
But I don’t want it to be over… to us it was just the beginning of a new life. We had so many plans for them… we were suppose to share many many more happy moments together.
My tears flowed. I lost consciousness.
14 April 2004, 3.30 pm…
As promised… it was over… but definitely not my sadness.
14 April 2004… after the sun had set… the night seemed longer and darker than any other days. Its been a while since I cried this hard…
Feeling helpless… we could only hug and cry. We did our best to console each other.
15 April 2004, 5.00 am….
Woke up after finally getting my eyes to rest for a while. I felt different… physically back to normal… no more feeling nauseous when I wake up in the morning, no more running to the washroom five to six times during the night to empty to my bladder, no more giddy spells and the bulge at my lower ab was gone. If only I could… I will gladly trade my emotional sufferings for all the physical discomfort… but it will not be possible.
My tears never seem to run out.
15 April 2004, 10.00 am…
Its been 24 hours.
The sky is as beautiful as ever… the world didn’t stop. I know I will move on eventually. Bumps on the road is inevitable… but I believe that I will pick myself up, dust it off and get on with my life. But for now… I just want mine to stop… just for a little while to let me grieve a little for my two angels.
Dear Tristan and Kiefer,
Daddy and Mummy will always love you forever… we will miss you.
Thank you for letting us feel how great parents are.
Thank you for bringing us the joy and happiness even though it was a little short-lived… but it was good and will always be part of us.
We were so looking forward to your arrival… but we know that it will never be. We will take comfort in knowing that you will have each other for company wherever you are.
We know that our angels will be looking out for us and their little brothers and sisters.
Take care… you will always be our two little angels.
Luv
Daddy and Mummy
“Sorry, I can’t seem to find the heartbeats.”
My heart sank and my world crashed …tears rolled down uncontrollably… I didn’t know what else I could do other than cry. That was when I knew that we had lost them both. There were no tell-tale signs… no bleeding, no spotting. All we could see on the monitor were the two little heads and their little arms and legs. Their hearts had stopped… so did ours.
They were identical… same hair, same facial features, same genes. Never expected them to share the same fate.
14 April 2004, 12.30 pm…
The wait for the D & C seemed like forever. But it was also the last few moments I could feel them inside me. The afternoon sun was shining brightly as ever… it pains me to know that they will never get to feel the warm of the sun, smell the roses and feel the light breeze brush their hair. The world will never be perfect but I’m sure they will find it beautiful despite the flaws.
I was told not to drink or eat before the surgery. I never knew how a patient waiting to be operated on could stand the thirst… because I could never live without water. But now I know… when the world stops… nothing else matters.
My tears couldn’t stop flowing.
14 April 2004, 1.30 pm…
We made our way back to the clinic for the surgery at 2.00 p.m.
The sun is still bright and scorching hot… but as we came closer to town the sky was partially covered with dark clouds. It felt as if the sky was feeling sorry for us.
14 April 2004, 2.00 pm…
Changed and waited outside the operating theatre for the gynae.
The tears just flowed endlessly. There was nothing I could do to make myself feel any better. It was the last private moments I had with my two angels.
14 April 2004, 2.15 pm…
“The first needle is painkiller and the second needle will put you to sleep… when you wake up it will be over.”
But I don’t want it to be over… to us it was just the beginning of a new life. We had so many plans for them… we were suppose to share many many more happy moments together.
My tears flowed. I lost consciousness.
14 April 2004, 3.30 pm…
As promised… it was over… but definitely not my sadness.
14 April 2004… after the sun had set… the night seemed longer and darker than any other days. Its been a while since I cried this hard…
Feeling helpless… we could only hug and cry. We did our best to console each other.
15 April 2004, 5.00 am….
Woke up after finally getting my eyes to rest for a while. I felt different… physically back to normal… no more feeling nauseous when I wake up in the morning, no more running to the washroom five to six times during the night to empty to my bladder, no more giddy spells and the bulge at my lower ab was gone. If only I could… I will gladly trade my emotional sufferings for all the physical discomfort… but it will not be possible.
My tears never seem to run out.
15 April 2004, 10.00 am…
Its been 24 hours.
The sky is as beautiful as ever… the world didn’t stop. I know I will move on eventually. Bumps on the road is inevitable… but I believe that I will pick myself up, dust it off and get on with my life. But for now… I just want mine to stop… just for a little while to let me grieve a little for my two angels.
Dear Tristan and Kiefer,
Daddy and Mummy will always love you forever… we will miss you.
Thank you for letting us feel how great parents are.
Thank you for bringing us the joy and happiness even though it was a little short-lived… but it was good and will always be part of us.
We were so looking forward to your arrival… but we know that it will never be. We will take comfort in knowing that you will have each other for company wherever you are.
We know that our angels will be looking out for us and their little brothers and sisters.
Take care… you will always be our two little angels.
Luv
Daddy and Mummy
