The Endless Wait

Mummy flunk the test for this month. Although we didn't try really hard but somehow the disappointment is still there. Actually I didn't expect myself to be disappointed... or maybe I wasn't listening to my subconscious hard enough... or simply denying the existence of "feeling hopeful".

This has got to be longest cycle... today is the 37th day and still no sight of my menses. Invariably it also meant the wait will be prolonged.

The agony of waiting is however undeniable. You count the months, the weeks, the days, the hours, the minutes. The wait gets even more annoying when there is nothing else to take your mind off. You feel helpless because you know there is nothing else you can do make the clock turn faster. If only I have a remote controller to back-track and fast-forward... I will surely make full use of it.

Right now I can only hope and pray there is nothing wrong with me physically... just another episode of me freaking myself out again.

It is always so easy to preach to others to stay relaxed but definitely more complex when it comes to practical.