Too Much Time on Hand... But Not Too Much to Go

Mummy has finally started her holiday since Monday. Initially, I was of the view that I should try and conserve my annual leave and work as close as possible to the delivery date... but am now happy with my decision to take a break before the arrival of Baby Matty. Going to work felt almost like fighting a battle for the last two weeks. Endless number of tasks to complete every day and trying as hard as possible to do as much as I can (just in case Baby Matty decides to come the next day)... left me feeling all stressed out and drained of energy. I even have difficulties keeping a conversation going on for more than 10 minutes. It leaves me grasping for air most of the time.

However, on the other end... having too much time on hand may not necessary be a good thing! Started to revisit the forum again and popped back into the support group for miscarriage and stillborn. What else... it got Mummy emotional once again. As others went on about their personal experiences... I can't help but transport myself back to those days.

As we count down to the arrival of Baby Matty (just another eight days to go)... the insecurity in Mummy continues to linger even though we are so so so close to the finishing line. If there is no movement from Baby Matty for more than 2 hours in a stretch... Mummy will suffer from a panic attack. Good thing that I know where his feet are. A light tickle will send Baby Matty squirming and kicking as he tries hard to fight off the "attack". Ok... I know I'm bad... but I really need all the reassurance that I can get... and only Baby Matty is capable of doing that now.

Oh by the way... we got a new place!!! It is at the end of Sea Avenue and so much nearer to your grandpa and grandma. We will be busy doing up the place, renting out Waterplace and of course getting acquainted with Baby Matty... for the next 3 months at least.

For now, we will concentrate on counting down and wonder every morning if Baby Matty is arriving today or not.