Emphasis on Attitude

Elaina has been acting up at school lately, specifically when she is having her English class.

It started about 2 weeks ago when she was told to write down a couple of words ending with “at” in an attempt by her teacher to make the kids learn to spell using their phonics skill. Despite that she could spell the words when working in a big group, she ended up brawling when told to go back to the desk and have the words written down. Being the drama queen she is, we promptly reasoned it as another episode of her trying to drum it up and get some attention. We further concluded that we were right because she could write the same set of words at home without any help.

Early this week, there was another spat of saga when told to copy down several lines word for word. In the midst of her rolling tears, she managed to jot every single word down. The teacher was baffled with her emotions and so were we, until last night after much coaxing and probing, she let out to me that at the point when she was doing the exercise she wasn’t sure if she would get it right and therefore the tears.

In my short span of motherhood, I have concluded (at least to me) that the important aspect of raising a school-going child is not whether he or she is getting the work right. It is not about whether he or she is getting ahead. It is definitely not about whether he or she attends any enrichment program, or if he or she is supposedly more intelligent than the peers (I noticed a lot of fellow parents enjoy being complimented that they have an intelligent kid… frankly these days, the children are definitely more smarter for whatever reason and we can no longer measure them by the yardstick we measure ourselves. They are mostly smart by our yardstick and so nothing strange). The hardest and most important part is instilling in them the right attitude towards learning and everything in life.

Matty and Elaina both had at some point slipped in this area in different regards and to a varying degree. It has been a challenge to me as a parent and I foresee it will continue to be so. I am somewhat consoled to learn that other parents have similar if not the same issue, just a matter of whether the parent recognizes it or not. Short attention span and preferring to doing something more interesting, some will shut down and refuse to try because they deem it too difficult, some have simply no confidence they will get it right, and of course a handful of whom are simply bored doing one exercise repeatedly because they fail to appreciate the meaning of practice makes perfect or simply because in life everyone will be expected to perform certain tasks even though it may be less palatable. I am sure the list does not end here and a child’s poor attitude can come in different form, shape, size and magnitude.

I can only hope for the ability to recognize potential problems and help Matty and Elaina by instilling in them the right attitude. I still firmly believe that is the way to raise my children well – to nip the problem at its root. Everything else will then follow.